Reach Out Now: Start Talking Before They Start Drinking
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Dear Families:
Each day, more than 10,000 young people between the
ages of 12–20 take their first drink.1
The good news is that you, as a parent or caregiver, are
still one of the most powerful influences on your child’s
behavior. And you have more influence on your child’s
values and decisions about drinking before he or she
begins to use alcohol.2 The key is to have a strong,
trusting relationship with your child—one that is based on
good communication. By developing open communication
with your child, you will increase the likelihood that he or
she will confide in you when faced with a serious issue or
problem.3 This begins with taking the time to talk.
This Family Resource Guide is one part of Reach Out Now:
Start Talking Before They Start Drinking, a program
designed to build oral communication, critical-thinking, and
life skills to help prevent underage drinking. Developed by
the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services
Administration, part of the U.S. Department of Health and
Human Services, this program provides the information and
techniques you need to open the doors to discussion with
your child.
Charles G. Curie, SAMHSA Administrator
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Six Key Actions Parents and Caregivers Can Take to Prevent Childhood Alcohol Use4
1. Establish and maintain
good communication with
your child.
Reach Out Now strategy: Encourage
conversation by actively listening to
your child talk about things of interest
to him or her. This paves the way for
communication about topics that
concern you.
2. Get involved, and stay
involved, in your child’s life.
Reach Out Now strategy: Hold regular
discussions about your child’s school
performance and activities, attend
after-school events, and get to know
your child’s friends.
3. Make clear rules and enforce
them with consistency and
appropriate consequences.
Reach Out Now strategy: Develop
clear family rules. Establish appropriate
penalties and consequences for
breaking the rules and enforce them
consistently.
4. Be a positive role model.
Reach Out Now strategy: Set a good
example for your child.Talk to your
child about the positive things you do
that he or she might consider or follow.
5. Teach your child to choose
friends wisely.
Reach Out Now strategy: Talk to your
child about the qualities that really
count in a friend, such as being kind
and trustworthy rather than being
popular or “cool.”
6. Monitor your child’s
activities.
Reach Out Now strategy: Be aware
of your child’s plans and whereabouts. |
For more information about
underage drinking, visit
www.stopalcoholabuse.gov.
“What Do You Know?”
New scientific research suggests that the effects of
alcohol use during adolescence may be more far-reaching
and permanent than once realized.5 Learn as much as
you can about the facts and begin to discuss them
openly with your child—before adolescence and before
underage alcohol use begins.
The Opportunity
Each and every day is filled with unplanned moments
that are perfect settings for serious communication between
family members. A newspaper article or an event in your
neighborhood may prompt one. The following is one example
of a perfect opportunity to have an interactive family discussion
about the physical effects of alcohol: You're watching TV and
the topic of alcohol comes up-for example, in a movie or
advertisement. You can also visit www.stopalcoholabuse.gov and play the "Start Talking About Drinking" public service ads
(see the links on the right side of the Web page), and discuss
them with your child.
Activity Directions
For Parent and Child:
- Below, under “Alcohol’s Effects,” work together and take
turns creating a list of all the effects of alcohol you can
both think of.
For Parent:
- Do an out-loud comparison of your list of alcohol’s effects
with the facts listed to the right. Work with your child to
correct any errors in your list.
- Under “Reactions to the Facts,” write down and discuss
with your child what surprised you. What alarmed you?
What reassured you?
Alcohol’s Effects ____________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
Reactions to the Facts _______________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
The Facts: Alcohol’s Effects6
- Alcohol affects your brain. Drinking
leads to a loss of coordination, poor
judgment, slowed reflexes, distorted
vision, memory lapses, and even
blackouts.
- Alcohol affects your body. It can
damage every organ in your body.
It is absorbed directly into your
bloodstream and can increase
your risk for a variety of diseases,
including cancer.
- Alcohol affects your self-control.
It depresses your central nervous
system, lowers your inhibitions, and
impairs your judgment. Drinking can
lead to risky behaviors, such as
driving when you shouldn’t.
- Alcohol can kill you. Drinking large
amounts at one time or very rapidly
can cause alcohol poisoning, which
can lead to coma or even death.
- Alcohol can hurt you—even if you’re
not the one drinking. If you’re
around people who are drinking,
you have an increased risk of being
seriously injured, involved in car
crashes, or affected by violence.
Alcohol and the Adolescent Brain7
Much brain development takes place during
teenage years, and recent studies show that
alcohol can affect the teenage brain differently
than the adult brain.
- Adolescents are more sensitive to some of
alcohol’s effects on the brain.
- Repeated exposure to alcohol may alter the
path of a teen’s brain development.
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"What Do You Say?"
For many families, bringing up a sensitive subject is not easy. Parents may feel unsure about how to
approach it, and children may try to avoid talking about it.8 This activity will guide your family through
two sample dialogues to help set the stage for future discussions about alcohol. Before you begin,
review the Communication Tips.
Activity Directions
For Parent and Child:
- Aloud and together, read A. Productive Dialogue. Then follow the instructions in Write/Talk About It.
- Follow with B. Unproductive Dialogue.
- Talk about your responses.
- Now, role-play another dialogue dealing with a similar topic.<
A. Productive Dialogue
Parent: Sometimes kids your age get curious about alcohol. Have you ever wondered about it?
Child: Not really.
Parent: Some kids are so curious they take a drink on a dare. My friend Steve in junior high was like
that. He would do anything on a dare. It made it hard to be friends with him.
Child: I don’t know what to do about Kendra. Her Mom got mad and locked her out of the house so
she went to a friend’s house and had some drinks with alcohol in them.
Parent: I feel sorry for Kendra. I would never lock you out of our house.
Child: I know. I wonder why Kendra was drinking.
Write/Talk About It
For Parent and Child:
-
Respond to the following questions on separate pieces of
paper, then discuss your answers.
- Why is this dialogue productive? Name and identify as
many reasons as you can.
- What is the most important thing you learned when you
read the dialogue?
- What is a question you have about talking or about alcohol?
B. Unproductive Dialogue
Parent: Isn’t Kendra a friend of yours?
Child: Yes, sort of. Why?
Parent: She is in big trouble for drinking. You know our rules.
Drinking is unacceptable. Friends who drink are not friends,
and you can’t be friends with her anymore. End of discussion.
Write/Talk About It
For Parent and Child:
Respond to these questions on separate pieces of paper,
then discuss your answers.
- Why is this dialogue unproductive?
- How likely is it that this child will ever ask his or her
parent a question about drinking?
- What would be a way to open up this discussion?
“What Do You Do?”
It’s not enough to tell your child to avoid alcohol—you also need to help your
child figure out how, and how to communicate their thoughts and feelings to
friends and classmates.9 Work together as a family to brainstorm ways that
difficult situations can be handled. The following activity provides an example
of a role-play dialogue involving an alcohol-related scenario.
Communication Tips
The following techniques can help
make you more comfortable and
willing to talk openly to each other.
- Set up a quiet place to talk that
will encourage open, private
conversation.
- Choose a time to talk when you
are both feeling relaxed.
- It's all in the delivery. Carefully
consider your tone, your
inflection, and the way you
present what you want to say
before you say it.
- Respect each other's thoughts,
ideas, and viewpoints by
listening without interrupting.
- Parents, be sure to encourage
your child to tell you how she or
he feels about what you are
discussing.
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Activity Directions
For Parent and Child:
- Take turns reading parts from the story below.
- Write down your responses to the questions in the Write/Talk About It section. Parents and children
can use a separate piece of paper to write their responses.
- Talk together about your responses.
For Parent:
- Work with your child to role-play another dialogue dealing with a similar topic.
HOME ALONE: What Would You Do?
Narrator: Callie is in 5th grade, and Dawn is in 7th grade. They are alone at home after school for four hours,
until their parents get home at 7 p.m.
Callie: “We call Mom and Dad as soon as we get home and then do our chores. Then I do my homework
while I watch TV—it helps to have voices in the room with me. I don’t pay any attention to Dawn.”
Dawn: “I do my homework at school. When I get home I call my friends. Sometimes they come over, even
though the rule is ‘no friends in the house after school.’ We drink wine coolers or beer. It helps pass the time.
My friend’s brother knows some older kids who give him liquor. I worry sometimes that Callie will tell on me.”
Narrator: Callie recently discovered Dawn drinking with her friends. Dawn defends herself by saying she
drinks because she’s bored.
Dawn: “It’s our parents’ fault for working all the time!”
Callie: “That’s dumb. Find something better to do than drink if you’re bored.”
Write/Talk About It
For Child:
- What would you do in Callie’s situation? Share what you would do.
- How does Dawn defend drinking? What do you think of Callie’s response? What should their parents do?
Discuss your response with your parent.
For Parent and Child:
- List after-school alternatives to staying home alone offered in your community. What else could be done for kids
who are alone after school? Discuss how using alcohol can impact their ability to achieve their goals in the future.
1. National Survey on Drug Use & Health, 2004. 2. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA),
Make a Difference: Talk to Your Child
About Alcohol, 2002. 3. Ibid. 4. Center for Substance Abuse Prevention (SAMHSA/CSAP),
Keeping Youth Drug Free, 2004.
5. American Medical Association, Harmful Consequences of Alcohol Use on the Brains
of Children, Adolescents, and College Students, 2002. 6. Substance Abuse and Mental
Health Services (SAMHSA), Tips for Teens: The Truth About Alcohol, 2004. 7. Aaron
White, Ph.D., Dept. of Psychiatry, Duke University Medical Center, "Alcohol and the
Adolescent Brain," 2004.
8. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), Make a Difference: Talk to Your Child About Alcohol, 2002.
9. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), Make a Difference: Talk to Your Child About Alcohol, 2002.
Last Updated on 9/19/2006
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